The Complicated Life of Daryl Dixon
by Hailey71
Summary: Daryl's life pretty much sucks. Can he juggle his new life with his past?
1. Chapter 1

It was a week after my brother went missin', and I felt; for the first time in a long time, alone. Utterly and completely alone. I had the thought in my head that Merle was dead, and that this time he was stayin' dead. I shook my head just thinkin' about it. "The only thing that can kill Merle is Merle." I said to myself over and over again. I sat propped up against the tree I had my tent set up next to. Everyone kept lookin' at me, even the kids. I couldn't look at them the same way as the others; they hadn't done me any wrong.

I watched Carl follow his daddy around like a shadow, and Sophia skip around without a care in the world. Amy and her sister were bickerin', like that was somethin' new. Lori was probably bitchin' about somethin', because if she wasn't, she'd die. I looked at the ground between my feet. Ants marched over the toe of my boot and birds were chirping. If the world hadn't gone to Hell this day would've been perfect. But it wasn't, and I was constantly on guard. I didn't have anyone to watch my back anymore. I didn't trust any of these people to give me the time of day, let alone watch my back.

I'd thought about leavin' off on my own, but I never did. Everyday it was the same damn routine. Every once in a while I would go off by myself and kill some walkers; blow off some steam, since I couldn't find any booze. Merle wouldn't want me drinkin' again then he'd feel like he had to too. I chuckled, "Merle." I said with a smile and the lump in my throat got a little bigger. I tried to shake it off.

"Hey Darylina, you need a tissue? Stop bein' a little bitch and clean yer face off. Raised you bedder than that." I looked up, but there was no Merle. I shook my head again and stood up. My crossbow slung over my right shoulder and my pistol in the holster on my left hip rubbed against my jeans as I walked. I spit in the dirt as I approached the RV. Dale looked down from the "watch tower" and Sophia called it.

"I'm goin' huntin'. Be back in a few days." I said gruffly as he squinted in the sun to see me.

"Did you tell Rick?" he asked. _Did I ask Rick?_

"I don't need his permission, tell em' or don't tell em' I really don't give a shit." I spat. Who the hell does he think he is? Rick ain't my boss, he ain't my daddy, and he sure as hell ain't my friend. I didn't have any friends anymore. My only friend was dead, _Rick_ left him chained to a roof and then disappeared. I shook my head as I walked away. My bow hit my back as I walked towards the woods. Nobody looked at me, or even bothered to ask where I was goin'.

"Daryl!" I stopped and whipped my head around to see Sophia running after me. I turned my body and faced her, almost dropping down to my knees. Her blonde hair when wild as a gust of wind blew past her. She was holding something in her hand and she walked towards me. "You dropped your knife." Her hand extended up to me, and I took the knife from her.

"Thanks babe," I looked over at Carol who watched, "take care of yer momma ya hear?" she nodded and smiled. I smiled back and patted her head and walked off into the dark forest.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The forest was quiet; quiet enough to hear a pin drop. I proceeded with caution through the brush, makin' sure I didn't break any twigs that I came across. That's when I'd seen him. The biggest buck I'd seen in over a year. His rack had to be over five feet in width and the girth on this boy; whoo damn, we were all gon' be eatin' good for a while.

I pulled my bow up to my sweaty shoulder and aimed for the stag's left lung. I squinted in the sunlight as it broke through the trees above me. I twig broke behind me and I froze. The buck looked up; directly at me, then ran off. I lowered my bow, and threw it back over my shoulder.

"Fuck." I cursed. _Must be loosin' my touch or sumthin'._ I sighed and pulled out the knife that Sophia gave me before, flipped it open and turned around. There was a walker just standin' there. Why was it just standin' there? Didn't come at me or nuthin', until I shifted my bodyweight. I moved to the left as it dove for me, tryin' to grab my arm and take a bite outta me. After it fell to the ground I put my foot on the back of its neck and drove my blade into its brain' taking out the frustration of losing the buck.

Blood and brains leaked from the massive hole that there now was in its skull. I made a disgusted face as the brains oozed over onto my boot. I pulled it back quickly and shook it off. I was sure there weren't any more with this one so I cleaned my blade and put it away.

"So tired of this, I'm ready to wake up from this nightmare on Earth now…" I shouted up to the sky. Just as I was shoutin' I heard a gunshot fire. Fifteen seconds later and I heard another one. "What da fuck?" I wasn't alone in the forest. The hairs on my arms stood up and I felt like I had to sneeze, but I held it in. I wasn't sure if I should investigate or go back and tell everyone at camp.

"What? You takin' orders from yer buddy Shane now? You need to clear everything with em? How bout wipin' yer ass Darylina? Shane need ta know bout that too?" I kept hearin' Merle yappin' at me. "You hearin' me baby brother? Yer new buddy Rick is the one who left me up on that roof. You ain't gonna survive without me Daryl… Them people ain't gotcher back like I do. They're gonna leave you first chance they git." My face was gettin' red with rage; he wasn't even around me and he was gettin' a rise outta me.

"MERLE SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I turned around screaming at nothing. I bit the inside of my cheek and shook my head; breathing heavily. He had a point… I didn't trust these people when I had my brother around and now that he ain't round, I gotta either start puttin' my trust in someone or get the fuck outta there.

I returned to camp with no deer; just a few rabbits and squirrels slung over my shoulder. No one cared much when I walked through the tents. Sophia came over and greeted me from a distance; she was like me, and I wanted a piece of her daddy more than anything anymore. He treated his little girl like dirt, and only kept Carol around so that he could smack her around every now and again. My blood boiled just thinkin' about it.

"Did ya kill any walkers?" Sophia asked me as I sat down on a tree stump and began skinning the furry little buggers. I glanced up at her and looked back down at my hands.

"A few." I replied.

"Were you scared?" she asked, swaying back and forth.

"Naw… maybe a little." I winked at her.

"But you're not afraid of anything!" I laughed lightly and looked up at her.

"Everyone gets scared darlin'." She giggled and covered her face, blushing. I smiled and went back to my work. She sat down on the ground in front of me and watched as I cut the rabbit in my hand open, and scooped out the innards.

"Eww, that's gross!" she said making a disgusted face.

"You ever eat rabbit bafore?" I asked her, picking up another one already skinned. She shook her head and made the same face. "It's pretty good when you cook it right."

"Are you gonna cook it right?" she asked laughing.

"Yes ma'am I am." I looked back up to her and saw Rick standing a few feet behind her. He motioned for me to come to him. "I'll be right back, make sure my squirrels so run away." I winked again and she giggled sitting on the stump where I'd sat before. I walked over to Rick who began walking towards the back of a tent; I followed.

"What's goin' on?" I asked.

"I meant to ask you earlier but you seemed pretty pissed, but a day or so ago, we all heard some gun shots go off." I knew where this was goin'. "Dale said you'd been out hunting, but he also said that you don't shoot often. Did you hear the shots Daryl?" I nodded.

"Didn't think nuthin' of it. Not our problem far as I see it." I didn't want to think that but the world was changin'; people were shootin' at anything that moved now a days.

"Alright, I'll take your word for it." He started walking away but then turned around, "I'm sorry about your brother, I truly am." Time to start trustin'… "We did everything we possibly could. I would take it back if I could." I lowered my head and looked at the ground. He walked off. Maybe he wasn't so bad as I made him out to be, but I still didn't trust him.

**_Ok so the real action is going to start picking up in the next chapter, I'm just not exactly sure everything is going to play out... i'm still working out the details and yes I know; not everything is following the story line and i don't really care... Update soon to whoever's reading 3_**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_"You better getcher act together little girl! If you wanna see the light of another day!" I heard Alan screaming from next door. Poor Krista, I thought I had it bad when I was younger, my daddy always beatin' on me but at least I didn't have a mother to take care of like she did. "Why is this fucking place always a goddamn pigsty?" he kept shouting, I pulled my pillow down tighter around my ears. I felt helpless; I couldn't do anything for her. She started shouting back but I could hear what she was saying, then it got quiet. I held my breath, until I heard knocking on my door. I shot up in my bed and looked at my door._

_"What?" I asked hoping to not get a reply._

_"Daryl git out here, I'm gonna kill em'." It was Merle; I jumped out of my bed and flung the door open. He was standing in the hallway with his k-bar out. It was almost as long as my forearm and just as wide too. He kept it real sharp; he shaved his face with it daily. There was banging on the front door. Probably the cops' again lookin' fer Merle. I trotted down the stairs; Merle trailing behind. I could hear rain tapping the window and thunder rumbling outside. _

_I opened the door to find Krista standing there soaking wet, shaking, and crying with a bleeding forehead. I grabbed her hand and pulled her inside, closing the door with my foot. Her hand trembled in mine worse than a new born fawn born in the snow of January. _

_"Darlin' I love ya, but yer daddy's gonna get what's comin' to em'." Merle spat gripping his knife tighter. I pulled her close to me, wrapping my arms around her midsection. "Daryl take her upstairs and don't bring her back down until I get back." I said nothing; I just did what he said._

_"W-what are you gonna do?" she asked meekly. We had been standing on the second stair leading to the second floor when she turned to ask Merle her question. He stepped forward and cupped her face with his left hand and wiped away a tear with his thumb._

_"Don't you think bout that right now darlin', you just go on upstairs with Daryl and don't pay no attention to what you hear." We continued up the stairs. I stopped and looked into my room once I reached the top; she was a few steps down from me. I didn't turn to look at her. The room was dark and the only light emanating from it was that of the neighbor's porch light and the lightening that occasionally flickered. _

_"Go into the bathroom and I'll take a look at that cut." She didn't say a word or look at me at all. She didn't look like the girl I knew at all. All the life in her face was gone and she looked like her soul had been taken. "I'll be in there in a minute." She sulked up the last three stairs and walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind her. _

_I looked through the window and could see Merle practically breaking down the door to Krista's house. He put up a bit of a struggle, but he got in. wouldn't be the first time neither. There was a lot of shouting and the sound of glass breaking. I closed the blinds and left the room. When I finally got to the bathroom the door was still pulled shut._

_"Hey," I said knocking lightly on the wood, "I'm comin' in." I paused, waiting for a response. When I didn't get one I opened the creaky door slowly, then pushed it the whole way open. She was sitting in the bathtub with her knees pulled up to her chest, eyes closed and hands over her ears. There wasn't much I could do, so I just stood there; staring at her. I don't think she even knew I was there… I ran my fingers threw my hair and tried to think about what to do. _What the hell do I do? _I thought to myself. There was nothing I could do. I sat on the edge of the tub and just sat there with her; waiting for Merle to come back. _

Those were the last memories I had of her. She was gone. My family, my friend, and my reason for existence… They were all gone; and at this point and time I've come to realize that there wasn't anything that I could ever do to get them back, or to make things right again.

_**Okay, I know this chapter was kind of confusing and hard to follow but this was the only way that I could think of to introduce Krista. I promise that the next chapter will be back to "normal". If you didn't quite follow it, it was basically a flash back memory from Daryl's past. More of this story line will tie in with the current story line, I'm sort of tying eberything to gether as I go so bare with me _**_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I woke up sweating, which had become a regular thing now and I hated it. I lay in my sleeping bag staring up at the roof of my tent. The morning sun hadn't started shining through it yet so it put the time at like seven thirty, maybe, I didn't really give a shit anymore. The dream I'd had that night about Krista didn't even feel like a dream. It felt like I had lived the whole damn thing over and I couldn't change it. What made it worse was that I could remember every little detail about her.

How her hair flowed over her face when she was reading a good book. Or how her nose wrinkled when she laughed; how bright her eyes got when she cried. The way that she could take defend herself or out drink any guy. I smiled, remembering the first night me and Merle took her to the bar on the outside of town. She down four shots of Tequila in two minutes and remembered what happened the next day. Which was more than what I could say for Merle.

I felt my stomach do I flip and my heart jump a little; then my face get hot with anger and regret. I could remember the last thing that I said to her; the day we had that huge fight over nothing. I remember the look on her face when I said that we shouldn't have ever let her into our house that first night we saw her daddy hit her. I could still feel the knot in my gut from saying it. It was my fault that she wasn't with us now. It was my fault that she was more than likely dead or a biter.

_Fuck. _I couldn't keep doing this to myself. Like she always used to say "Don't stress yourself out, it'll give you pimples." I can't keep living in the past and trying to change what I couldn't. I left my tent and met up with whoever was awake and started the day; with regretting thoughts in my head.

I spent most of the day down at the pond with some of the women. They washed clothes while I tried to catch fish… no such luck. I never was good with a fishing pole; that was always my daddy's gig. I looked down from the big rock I sat on across the way where I could see the girls gigglin' and carryin' on. I smiled slightly; at least there was a little bit of happiness left in some of us. I saw one of em stand up and start walkin' towards me. I couldn't tell who it was until they got up closer. It was Andrea. Her curled blonde hair was pulled up off her neck into a muddled bun and her skin glistened in the sun.

"You been drinkin' water?" she asked looking up at me. He hand was up against her face, blocking out the sun. I nodded. "Alright, don't wantcha ta over heat and die." I laughed a bit.

"Thanks." I replied, and she sauntered away back to the others. I picked up the plastic bottle that sat next to me and took a long guzzle of it. It was warm from bein' the sun, but it was better than nothing.

A few more hours passed and the sun started goin' down some. It was still light out but it wasn't as hot and everybody was a lot more comfortable. Maybe not with each other but still. I tried to stay away from people as much as I could back before everything happened; I didn't see why I should become social now. Where there were people there was drama, and I wasn't havin' no more drama. That part of my life ended the day me and my brother put our daddy in the ground.

I started cleanin' up my fishing gear and puttin' things back where I guessed they were supposed to go. I hated fishing then, and I hated it now. I think I hated it so much because my father loved it so much. Merle didn't mind it as much but it wasn't our favorite past time, needless to say. I could hear some commotion goin' on up at camp but I only assumed it was Lori bitchin' about somethin'. That wouldn't have struck me and strange; it what she did on the daily. It we were lucky, every _other_ day. No this was something else. I'd began climbing down from my rock when I heard dirt crunching, in bursts close together, like someone was running. I turned around to see Carl running towards me down the trail.

"Daryl, my dad said to come get you. He didn't tell me why, just that you should hurry." He said out of breath. He rested his hands on his knees and his head faced the ground. _He musta really been movin' ta be that outta breath. _

"Alright, I'm comin'." I ushered him back up the trail and I followed behind him, carrying my stuff on my back. "I'll be there in a second, just throwin' this in my tent." I said to him but he was already gone. I unzipped the tent opening just enough I could toss my gear in and zipped it back up. As I stood back up I saw Shane walking towards me holding a knife in his hand. That made me uneasy. I rested my left hand on the butt of my gun in case he tried anything twisted. All he did was hold it out in front of him; handing it to me. I took it from him, confused.

"Does that look familiar at all to you Daryl?" he asked. I looked at it carefully. It _did _look familiar; I remembered the finished wood of the handle and the arch in the blade. I kept trying to think where I knew this stiletto from. I turned it over to the other side and saw the initials M.D carved into the chocolate brown hickory wood.

"Where the hell did you find this? Merle had this the day…" I remembered Merle getting into the car behind Andrea, and the glare from this knife bouncing off from the sun and into my eyes. "Was it stuck in a walker?" I asked.

"Not, exactly." He trailed off and kept eye contact with me. It was a little creepy how he wouldn't look away from me, or even blink.

"Then, what?" I asked; I had no idea what he was getting at.

"Walk with me." He said gesturing for me to follow him as he started to walk away. I tossed the knife into my tent with my things and trotted off, catching up to Shane. "So I was out all day in the woods makin' sure there weren't any walkers getting' to close right? And I came across what I thought was a walker but wasn't. She was still alive." _She? _"She was pretty out of it and not making any sense, but I noticed the knife that she had as Merle's and brought her back here. She all but punched me in the face when I asked for it."

"Why?"

"Because she said that it was hers. That the person it belonged to was gone and that it meant a whole lot to her." I was beyond lost. "When I asked her to identify who it belonged to," he stopped walking and looked at me, "she said it was your brothers; by name. She said that it belonged to her good friend Merle Dixon, and that if I didn't believe her to look at the engravings. She said that she was the one who bought it for him." I knew who he was talking about, and I all but fell over. "You okay Daryl?" apparently I_ looked_ like I was going to fall over too.

"Where? Where is she?" I spluttered.

"By the RV, with Glenn, Rick, and Lori. Do you know her?" he asked, I wanted to punch myself it the head because everything was running together at once.

"Thought she was dead." I said, running off in the direction of the camper.

**_Hey guys! So I hope you like the semi introduction to Krista :) I was having conflicting thought about whether or not to have her in this chapter or the next and i didn't want this one to be super long so next chapter it is! _****ALSO!****_I'm thinking about making a twitter or facebook page letting you guys know about how things are going with the story, and get opinons from you guys. let me know if this something you want me to do. i just might make both if someone doesn't have one or the other. _**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I felt myself keep fading in and out of consciousness, but I could still see everything that was going on around me. It would get blurry for a second, and then get clear, then I wouldn't be able to hear anything and then everything would be too loud. I felt like I was going to fall over even though I was sitting on an old milk crate. I didn't know where I was, or who these people were; I didn't trust them. I'd grown up not trusting anyone.

My first reaction was to get the hell out of there. But the guy that found me, he seemed; he seemed different. He acted like he knew Merle, like he as his friend of somethin'. This place made me feel uneasy and sick and I didn't like it. I could remember how many days it had been since I'd seen another person, or even spoke. But I wasn't scared, I was beyond that. I felt like an empty shell of a person, just like I had been before my dad was…

"Here, drink some water. You'll dehydrate, and we don't have the medical supplies to fix that." I looked up at the woman the guy that found me called Lori. She was very skinny, almost to skinny, and she had long wavy dark hair. She had a light smile on her face that brought me a little comfort. I took the bottle from her hands and drank it; all of it. _When was the last time I even had water? _I thought, but I didn't know. I remember drinking out of a creek bed a few days ago, and then a few days later it rained. I just couldn't remember and that drove me crazy.

"How long have you been out here alone?" the guy asked. He looked sort of Asian, but I couldn't really tell; my vision was getting hazy again.

"A while. Over a week. The city isn't safe." I said shaking my head, and I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. There were hundreds of them in Atlanta, walking around like they were alive. Men, women; kids. I had to kill so many people… But they weren't people anymore, and now, I was a killer. I felt like I was going to be sick, but I had nothing to regurgitate.

"Were you alone?" he asked. I wished he would just stop talkin' to me. My head hurt and I just wanted to go home. To be back in my bed again.

"I lost someone. He was taken from me," I looked up at him and made no facial expression, "he wasn't bitten, he was taken away." I looked away, then at the ground. "We thought it was help coming for us, but it wasn't. All I remember was taking his knife and stabbing three people then being knocked out and waking up with three dead guys wearing army greens around me. Merle was gone, and I was alone…" I trailed off; waiting for someone else to ask me a question that I didn't want to answer. Lori and the Asian kid looked at each other, like they knew something; something that I didn't. "What?" I asked, nearly demanding the answer.

"Was he your friend long? Merle, that is." The other guy asked. I got a weird vibe from him; he didn't seem sympathetic like the other two, like he only cared about the answer I was going to give him and not about Merle at all. I winced starring him down, wanting him to look away before I did. I broke first. _Shit. _

"Yeah, him and his brother were all that I had growing up. They were my neighbors, and took me in when my dad," I almost told them the truth, but I didn't, "When my dad died." I got goose bumps thinking about him, and I was glad that he was gone. "Why?" I asked him scrunching my eyebrows together. I could hear other people talking, it sounded like two guys but I could've been wrong.

"Rick, can you get her some more water please? She needs to keep hydrated in her state." Lori said handing Rick my bottle. My eyes followed him as he it from her hands and stood up and left. I didn't trust him, not in the least. "He means well, he's been in a coma for the past few months. He's really only just adjusting to this life." I didn't look at her as she spoke; I kept my eyes on Rick until he was out of sight.

Shane walked around the back of a big red SUV and trotted towards us. He then stood in front of me, directly with his hands on his hips and rocked back on his left foot changing his height from 5'7 to 5'5. He looked at Lori who looked away from him then back at me. I waited for him to say something but he didn't; he just stared at me. It was uncanny. Something moving behind him broke my stare from him. My vision was still blurred from the sun exposure but I could've sworn that I knew who it was. _No, no that can't be him… could it? _

I tried to stand, but I staggered; Shane grabbed my hands to keep me from falling on my ass. I tried so hard to focus but I just couldn't. I rubbed my eyes and widened them, he giggled but I ignored him. I wanted so badly for it to be who I thought it was, if only I could see. Suddenly everything around me got really bright and I really couldn't see anything. I knew what was happening and I couldn't stop it from happening. I was having another heat stroke. I didn't know if my eyes were open or closed what I knew for sure was that I was blinded by the sun.

"Get her on the ground!" a man's voice said. I could feel my body moving in slow motion, like I was moving threw water. "Hand me that bottle," I felt something cold on the back of my neck, then run down my back. I think it was water. The last time I'd had a heat stroke I was working on the roof of the Dixon brothers' house. I fell off and woke up in the hospital with a broken leg and a fractured arm. Merle was so pissed at me, and Daryl; he was just pissed that I did a better job fixing it by myself than he did with help.

They continued putting water on me and I slowly began to come back from the wonderland that I was in. When I could see again, I saw that I was sitting on the ground and propped up against the RV wall. I looked up and saw Lori, Shane, the Asian kid and… Daryl Dixon. _Am I dead?_

"Daryl?" I said slurring my words. I felt like I was drunk, but at the same time I felt like I wasn't. "Am I dead? Or is this real life?" he laughed kneeling down in front of me.

"No baby girl, you ain't dead. Your alive," he rested his hand on my bare leg. His hands were rough and calloused. "Your very much alive."

_**HOW'D YOU GUYS LIKE THE FIRST CHAPTER WITH KRISTA? AND ALSO THE FIRST CHAPTER IN HER POV? I REALLY TRIED TO GET IN THE MINDSET OF HER CONDITION, BEING OUT IN THE SUN FOR THAT LONG WITH BASICALLY NO WATER OR FOOD MESSES YOU UP SO I HAD TO THINK ABOUT IT, WHICH IS WHY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO WRITE :P. **_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Everyone was starring at me but nobody spoke a word; and I didn't take my eyes off of Daryl. I thought that if I did, that he would disappear. I still sat on the hard dirt ground; just looking at him. I didn't want him to disappear again; I wouldn't survive without him. Lori said something that I ignored and I felt a hot tear trickle down the side of my face. I wanted to reach out and touch him; this all just seemed too unreal.

"Krista? Can you hear me?" I saw his lips move, but I couldn't speak. I couldn't move either. "Kris, come on kid speak." He said again.

"I-I thought you were dead." I said quieter than I intended to be. His grip on my leg tightened slightly. "Y-you were gone. And M-Merle…" I felt my chest get tight.

"Krista, where is Merle?" he asked firmly. My mind got fuzzy; I, I couldn't remember what happened to him. I'd just told them what happened and now, I can't remember. I didn't like this, this feeling for not knowing; of not remembering shit!

"She said someone took him away, a few days ago." The Asian kid said.

"What? Took him?" Daryl looked at the kid, and then at me, "Who did? Other survivors, walkers?" I felt like I was going to break down and cry; which I never did. Growing up a Dixon, you don't cry. It was like an unwritten rule and you just; you didn't do it.

"No, they were, like," I tried so desperately to remember. Flashes of people and colors rushed through my brain, "Men in uniform," I looked at the ground, almost searching for the answer among the dirt and leaves. "Ten of them, in the army I think…" then I looked up at Daryl, mortified. "I killed people; Daryl. I killed three full grown Army soldiers; by myself…" another tear fell down my cheek. "I saw them take Merle, and threw him in the back of a big truck. Then I got hit on the head and, I don't remember." He scooted closer to me, close enough that I could throw my arms around his neck and I would be okay, I would feel safe again.

"Kris, look at me." I didn't want to look him in the eye when he told me what he was going to say, that was never easy for me to do. "We've all had to defend ourselves from, bad people. You didn't do anything wrong; they were bad men, and you were only trying to protect yourself." He took my face in his hands, "You are not a killer. You hear me? You're a good person." I nodded my head and closed my eyes. He pressed his forehead up against mine, and I exhaled heavily. "You're safe now, Kris, you're safe." And for the first time in months; I felt like I was okay.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

_"Kris, you've gotta help me kid. My hand, help me Krista please!" I just stood there starring at his stump where his hand used to be. I shook my head clear and tore my shirt off to where I was standing there in my bra. The pained look on his face didn't change. I ran to his as his stumbled to the ground, clinging to his, not hand._

_"Merle I have to stop the bleeding." I looked around the room where I'd found his and saw a stove. Over on the table was an iron. He was gonna hate me for this but it was going to save his life essentially. I stood up and ran to fetch the iron, then to the stove to heat it._

_"What the hell are ya gonna do with that?!" I shouted. I ignored him. I watched the plate get red hot and I brought it over to him. Kneeling down beside him, I watched as beads of sweat formed on his forehead and his upper lip. _

_"Bite down on this," I said handing him my shirt. "You might not wanna look." He shoved the cloth into his mouth, closed his eyes and looked away. "I'll do it on the count of 5, okay?" he nodded his head briskly. I gripped the iron handle in my hand tighter. "1… 2… 3… 4…" I didn't wait for 5; I pressed the hot iron to his skin. Hearing him want to scream out in pain was one thing that I could handle, but the smell. I thought I was going to vomit. The smell of his burning flesh, and the blood all in one. I tried to keep it together. _

_When I knew that the wound was definitely cauterized I threw a hot iron away from us, ripped the shirt out of his mouth and wrapped it around his stump; using some electrical tape I always had on my to keep the shirt from falling off. He held it in his hand and pulled it to his chest. I couldn't believe that I'd just did that. For fuck's sake he didn't have a hand! _

_"Merle, I'm sorry. I had to. You would've died if I hadn't.." he wrapped me in a hug. The first time in a long time, I was touching another human being; one that wasn't trying to eat me anyways. I hugged him back tighter in fear that if I let go he wouldn't be there anymore. _

_"Thank you. Thank you." He kept saying over and over again. I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything. For a while we just sat there in that warehouse. I didn't know where to go. Merle had fallen asleep and I thought that I should do the same but didn't. What if a geek came in while we were knocked out? No, I had to stay awake; I had to protect him._

_A day or so after finding him, we both made our way into the woods. He kept rambling on about how we needed to find Daryl and how he was gonna kill "that monkey". I had no idea what the hell he was talking about, so I didn't ask. Crazy Merle is not one that I should be getting answers from. He was honestly scaring me a little bit. He was just going off in any direction he felt like going off in. I'd suggested another direction once and he nearly bit my head clean off. This wasn't the Merle Dixon I knew. _

_"Merle, we have to find Daryl remember? We're going in circles." I said calmly and collectively. _

_"I know where the fuck I'm goin'! Don't you think I know where my own brother is?!" he shouted. I didn't take any of it to heart, he was over heating and he was probably delirious. "God damn stupid bitch, tryna tell me I don't know where I'm goin'," he said under his breath but I still heard it, "I know where I'm goin'!" he turned around facing me and screamed in my face. I'd had enough._

_"Merle, stop fucking screaming in my face! I'm only trying to help your sorry ass from getting eaten. So STOP DRAWING ATTENTION TO US!" I laid into him real good. He just watched me, waiting for me to blow up again. "I'm sorry, it's just; Merle you're scaring me. The way you've been acting; you're acting like a serial killer that's running from the cops. You just need to chill out a little alright? We're not being chased, we're not running for our lives; we're okay. Alright?" he sighed and looked away from me. He reached into his pocket and tossed me his knife. I looked at him confused, looked down at the knife and then back at him._

_"You're right, I'm sorry. Your gonna carry that around from now on, ya hear?" it was the blade I got for him a few years ago for his birthday. He never left home without it._

_"But, but.."_

_"No buts, I'm serious Kris. I can't protect you anymore." He said touching his arm where his hand used to be. I looked away from him. "You know how to defend yourself; with or without the blade. Biters are gonna be comin' from all sorts of places now. And you've gotta be ready. Ya hearin me?" I nodded my head and flipped he blade open. It glistened in the light of the sun, blinding me a little bit. "Come on, we have to keep movin'." He pressed on and I followed close behind. _

_I couldn't remember how many days it'd been since we left the warehouse. I knew it was more than three. I was hot and sweating all the time. Merle had barely said two words to me since our little "dispute" the other day, and we were tired; I couldn't even remember the last time I'd slept. _

_"Let's rest here." He said through his voice cracking. "You need to sleep Kris. You haven't in days, and you're lookin' sick." I wasn't getting sick, I was just that tired. I didn't even have the strength to argue back. I slunk down next to a big tree and rested my head up against it._

_The next thing I knew I was awake and there were people all around me; people with guns, big guns. I couldn't see Merle anywhere, I tried to scream out for him but a large black man in Army colors picked me up but the arm, holding a gun to my head and pushing me around. I saw other men with guns pushing and hitting people with guns, tossing them into big trucks like they were sacks of flour. I felt the knife in my pocket and pulled it out and stabbed the black guy in the throat._

_People were screaming and two other army guys came running at me. I dodged the one but the other one knocked me to the ground. I rolled away before he could hit me again. Staggering to me feet I threw punch after punch, few of them connecting with his face. He lay lifeless on the ground. Then I saw Merle, two very large men were shoving him into the same truck where they were putting the others._

_"Merle no!" I shouted. I heard a gun shout, and I hit the deck. I didn't know where it'd come from and I didn't stop to figure out. My knife was sticking out of the last man that I'd stabbed. I turned my head to see a gun pointed at my face. My feet where in between his, I kicked his legs out from under his and stood up quickly and took his gun. He screamed in pain, grabbing his ankle; it looked pretty broken. I didn't care; I shot him, and he was dead. I turned to see the truck that now held Merle driving away. I chased after it but I couldn't keep up. He was once again gone. This time I think it was for good. _

_I stood there among the three dead men. One of them was gasping, or so I thought. I sauntered over to him and see that he was changing. I wasn't about to let that happen. I pulled my knife out of his chest and drove it into his skull between is eyes. Then I pulled it out and drove it in again, and over and over again. I stepped back and looked at it, at him. _

_"Over kill much?" I heard someone say behind me. I turned to see that no one was there._

_"Great, now I'm hearing shit. He's gonna get a kick outta this when he finds out." I was talking like Merle never even left. Like he was just off takin a piss and he was already on his way back to me. Had to get those thoughts outta my head now, because this time I was really alone. "I'm never gonna be with anyone again, this time I'm really all alone…_

**ok so i know i haven't posted in a LONG time but i've had the worst writers block ever, so here's a really long one that i hope you guys are happy with. and i hope you're still follwing and reading because i think this just might be my come back chapter :)**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

It had been almost 24 hours since Shane brought Krista to our camp. I stuck to her side like a thorn on a rose. I felt like her being out there for so long, all alone, was my fault. I'm sure it was; it was always me. No matter how hard I tried to make things better I always seemed to fuck things up in the end. Why bother to try and break that trend now? But still I sat there next to her. Not moving. When she breathed, I breathed. When she moved I moved; like magnets.

"You don't have to babysit me Daryl. Go, off and do whatever it is that you do." she motioned for me to leave.

"I'm not leaving you Krista. Never again." She looked over at me with almost pain in her eyes.

"You didn't leave me before; I left remember?" she said it without any sort of tone in her voice.

"It was my fault you left, and I'm sorry. If I didn't chase you out of the house that day, you would've been with us from the start and maybe, none of this would have happened. I mean the Merle thing; the zombie part was kinda outta our hands." She blew air out through her nostrils loudly; I guess that was supposed to be a laugh.

"You, didn't come after me." I knew she wanted to cry, I could hear it in her voice. But her pride wasn't going to let her.

"I didn't know you wanted me to." I said sympathetically. She rolled her eyes at me.

"You honestly think I'm going to believe that Daryl? If you think I'm that stupid then you don't know me at all." She was angry, I could see that, but I really meant it. I was never tapped in with my feelings, how was I supposed to know that's what she wanted me to do? I didn't know. Shane walked past us, glancing over at Krista.

"You wanna come help me with sumthin'?" he asked her. She looked over at me and I looked away. She was going to go anyways, why bother even trying to stop her?

"Yeah, sure." She replied without any sort of character in her voice. She got up and followed him and he walked away. I was kicking myself. I'm going to make things right by her. Merle kicked my ass into shape the day she left. I'd regretted every minute she was gone and I didn't go after her. But this was my second chance; this time everything was going to work out; this time I was going to keep her safe.

Dinner that night was loud. Everyone was laughin' and carryin' on; reminiscin' bout their childhoods or stories about their kids. I hated it. I wanted to go far away from them, but Krista was enjoying herself. She sat across the fire next to Shane and Glenn. I felt my eyes go back to her every time I tried to look away. I kept looking back to her. There was some shouting back by the RV, Ed and Carol; again. I wanted so badly to put a bullet in the back of his brain; but I didn't want to cause trouble in the camp. Not anymore anyways.

I could hear her crying, as he continued shouting. Nobody said anything; they just tried to ignore it. Lori would look up startled when he would scream loudly and then went back to her food. Sophia sat by me and she jumped at everything that went on around her. I shifted a little closer to her; trying to make her feel a little safer. She shivered; not because of the cool night air, but because she was crying. I did nothing but sit there. She wasn't my kid; she wasn't even my friend's kid. She was just a little girl that I sorta looked out for.

"You're okay kid, I promise you, you're okay." I whispered as I rested my elbows on my knees and my chin on my hands. She sniffled a few times and then stopped crying. She scooted closer to me and locked are arms with mine. My eyes shot up, only my eyes, to see if anyone saw what she did. Everyone saw, but no one said anything or stopped their conversations. I took one of her hands and squeezed it gently; I felt her exhale deeply. "I ain't gonna let him hurt you ever. I promise." I whispered and she tightened her grip on me.

After everyone was finished eatin' mostly everyone went to their tents. Krista sat by the fire; pokin' and prodding it with a thin stick, and then watching it burn. Sophia was with her mom, I made sure Ed was asleep before lettin' that little girl anywhere near that tent.

"So um, you can stay in my tent if ya want. Got a extra sleeping bag if ya want it." I said to her. She didn't look up from the fire that was slowly burning out. I sighed loudly so that she could hear me and sauntered over to her. "Look Kris, I get that you're pissed about me not chasin' after you, I understand; I really do. But your gonna have to get over yourself and forgive me; you ain't the only one here wit issues. So please, just fuckin' talk to me!" I noticed afterwards that I was yelling. I watched as she masticated her bottom lip.

"Yes, Daryl I _am_ pissed at you. And I don't know how long I'm going to be pissed at you… And you're right; I _do_ need to get over myself. And I'm sorry if I'm not the same girl that you remember me being; because I'm not." She looked down at the dirt between her feet and I shifted my stance. "I killed three people. People. Not zombies, living, breathing, people Daryl. I had to stab them in the brain because I couldn't let them come back. Do you know how long I had their blood stained on my hands? Like physically stained, on my hands because I couldn't fine a stream or a puddle to wash it off?" I shook my head. I felt bad for not even realizing how traumatized she'd been. Before, in our old lives, I'd be able to detect the slightest mood change in her.. But now, she seemed like a completely different person.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't realize." I stopped talking; I didn't know what the fuck to even say. I could see the pain on her face; fighting tears. "Merle wasn'tcher fault Kris. It was something shitty that happened and we gotta live with it." I paused, debating on whether or not I should say what I wanted to say next. How much more could she possibly hate me right? "I don't blame you in the slightest. I can see it when you look at me that you think I blame you for it… I just wanted you to know that I don't." she didn't say anything, and I was tired of talkin'. I started walkin away when I said something over my shoulder. "My tent is your tent Krista. The blue one by the truck; I'll keep the sleeping-bag warm for ya, if ya change yer mind." And toddled over to my tent, leaving her by the fire.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I sat by the dying fire after Daryl left. I starred at the dwindling flames as they danced back and forth. Nothing could hurt them. They didn't feel pain. In that moment I wanted to touch them; I wanted to hold them in my hands and just be there with them. I shook my head of the stupid thought. I heard dirt crunching and I grabbed my knife that was in my pocket. Shane rounded the corner of the RV and put his hands up.

"Just me." I lowered my hand and readjusted myself on the tree stump where I sat. He walked over to me and sat down next to me. Giving me my space, but I could still feel the warmth of his body heat.

"What a day." I said, looking back at the fire.

"Mmm." He said rubbing his mouth with his calloused hand. I saw him glance over at me. "You okay?" he asked, leaving me a bit confused.

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" I wanted him to ask me a different question, or go away. No, I didn't want him to go away; his presence made me feel safe. And right now, that's just what I needed.

"I heard you and Daryl fightin' just wanted to know if you were okay that's all." I admired his kindness, but I changed the subject.

"So what's up with that Rick guy? He gives me a bad vide. What's his deal?"

"Rick, uh, he's been in a coma for a while. We all thought he was dead when this whole thing started. He's only been here about two weeks; he's still getting adjusted to everything." I rolled my eyes but keep looking at the fire. "He's a good guy; he's just got some baggage."

"We all have baggage." I felt like I had to defend myself or something.

"Yeah. We all take care of each other here, so," I wanted to look at him but couldn't. "If you ever need anyone to talk to, about anything. I'm here." Wow what a shitty pick up line.

"So, if you all 'take care of each other' how come someone hasn't done anything about the guy that's beatin the shit outta his wife and kid?" I snapped. His head snapped up.

"It ain't our business."

"Not you, you're a cop aren't you Shane?" he nodded. "Then it is your business. Once a cop always a cop, right?" I waited for his response.

"Everything's different now. People are different. We're all different." he stared at the fire. I wanted to have it out with him right then and there; but I didn't.

"We'll I'm tellin you now, if I see that bastard come near that little girl with fury in his eyes, I won't hesitate to go after him." I poked at the fire more predominately now. "I know what it's like at the end of that rope, and I didn't have nobody to stand up fer me." He was silent. Why was I even tellin him this? He didn't care.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, but believe me if ever he touches Sophia we're all gonna have it out with em. Some of us, more than others." I watched him stare off into the fire; almost looking through it.

"Well," I paused for a brief second. "good. I didn't want to have to be the only one to beat the holy hell outta him." I scoffed. "Be glad Merle isn't here."

"Oh I am."

"You didn't know him," I whipped my head around to look at him; "You only knew the side that he wanted you to know. Did you know that he was a Marine? Or that he pull four little kids our of a burning school house?" he stunk of shame and sweat. "You all might think that he was a racist redneck, with no manners and a dirty mouth, and you'd be right about all those things; but you didn't know him the way I did." He laughed a little bit. "What?" I demanded.

"You; yer talkin like he's dead. You don't know if he's dead or not." I looked back at the fire and scratched my forehead.

"He might as well be." The replay of him being taken away still hit me hard. "You weren't there… you didn't see what I saw." I rubbed my arms trying to fight away the goose bumps.

"Well, if I've learned anything from bein' a cop is that cha can't loose hope. Now I might think he's an ignorant bastard, but he's still your family and you don't give up on family." He was right; it was just easier to give up than to push on not knowing if he was dead or alive.

_I KNOW I HAVN'T UPDATED THIS IN A LONG ASS TIME. THIS IS JUST A LITTLE BIT OF WHAT I'VE STARTED. HOPE IT'S NOT TOO DISAPPOINTING. XOXO LOVE YOU GUYS AND THANKS FOR THE __PATIENCE._


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